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Why Change Can Be Unsettling – Change, while often necessary for growth and progress, can trigger feelings of discomfort and unease.
Change is good. change is really good and it happens to be one of the key factors needed to thrive and strive in the human world. And as a matter of fact, it seems to be the only thing that is constant, of all other things.
However, despite the fact that human nature constantly wants, and therefore aim for change, it can still feel quite discomforting when it actually comes.
It’s like you’ve been waiting for this moment all your life and then it finally comes, yet you can’t really deem to understand why it feels so uncomfortable from the inside, but you want it still, strange right?
Well, chill out, you’re not the only one with this kind of experience. Being that humans share quite a lot of similarities, we all pretty much go through a similar experience.
But I mean, it doesn’t really make sense to me how and why we all often feel that way towards change. Is it that we want to change in just our thoughts only and not in reality? Or probably we feel more “safe” and comfortable not wanting to change?
Well whatever it is, it is sure not making us move faster and quicker to the kind of change we need. So in essence, we’ve got to figure it out in totality.
CHANGE IS INEVITABLE
Now the truth is, change will come, whether you’re ready for it or not. And it doesn’t just come alone, it comes with a lot of crises as well. Just as Mike Murdock puts it, “Crises always occur at the curve of change”.
Know that anticipated and unanticipated change both brings discomforting crises, however, in varying degrees. I believe that the change we anticipate and get prepared for is the one that produces less discomfort and fewer crises, and the opposite is true for the unanticipated and unprepared-for change.
EXPECTED vs SUDDEN CHANGE
Let’s take for instance: you’ve been told that you’ll be the manager of the company you work in as secretary in 4years time. Such change is quite huge and intense.
No doubt, it can cause a lot of anxiety and restlessness, initially. But before the 4years time comes, you must have prepared your mind for it and preparing for it will make you less nervous and more willing to do it.
Now, how about you’re on your desk as a secretary that you’re in the company, writing a report for your boss, and a member of the board of directors came at you to inform you that you’ve been promoted to the post of a manager and that you’re to begin your managerial role by tomorrow.
You would freak out, right? You think! Freaking out will be the only thing you would be doing. You might as well start to lose your mind because the change was such a sudden and drastic one.
You wouldn’t even know what to do and you know what, the only seemingly thing you can do is to reject the offer and that’s not good, you know that, but you still do it anyway, just to save face.
Basically, there are a lot of things that could cause this form of discomfort and inconvenience in both forms of changes that we talked about earlier and we’re going to be looking at some of them and also what you can do to help you feel more relaxed and in-charge.
SOME FACTORS THAT MAKES CHANGE SO DISCOMFORTING
Like we saw earlier, there seem to be some factors that cause so much—or so little—discomfort when it comes to change.
This discomfort can be likened to a form of weird tingling sensation in your stomach that makes you wanna puke. But not to worry, you won’t puke, nobody will. Get it together, we’ll figure this out, just stay with me.
Now, speaking of the factors, some of them might be relative, that is to say, they are connected to the kind of change in question. While some others might be absolute, which means it applies to all “change” scenarios and not any in particular.
Having said that, here are some of those factors:
FEAR OF CHANGE
fear of change itself is one thing that can trigger a lot of discomfort towards change. It makes you think of change as a problem that you should really get away from. It’ll make you think that change will do a lot more harm to you than good.
Fear feeds your mind with negative thoughts about what seems to be false. When you give room for this kind of fear in your life, you won’t only feel discomforting towards change, you might as well resent it strongly.
WHAT TO DO
To tackle this, you’ve to first get this into your mind: Fear is an illusion. Yes, you heard it right, it really is. All those fear that you think truly exist is really just in your mind and nonexistence. So get a grip on yourself, fear won’t harm you if you don’t let it.
Now instead of dreading change, see change as a constant part of life that will always have to happen, whether you like it or not.
Don’t always fright at the thought of change, this will do you no good. Even if you happen to freak out on the inside when it comes to change, don’t focus on the “freaking out” scene, rather fix your thoughts on the change and you’ll see your fear alleviating.
Remember I said that the kind of change that you’re not prepared for tend to create more anxiety and restlessness in you? Well, I’m saying it again just for emphasis sake. A kind of change that catches you unaware can be so unnerving and can as well create a lot of tension—which of course are unnecessary—in you.
WHAT TO DO
We all know that to a large extent that life itself is unpredictable. I guess that’s why so many people find it so enraging and frustrating. Now, even though you cannot predict all the changes that could go on in your life, you at least try to foresee some.
Don’t always expect things to always go as you planned, it will only drive you crazy. A rule of thumb: Have a mindset that always takes and accept things as they are. Brace yourself up for any form of change that may occur in your life whether good or bad.
Because this is really where the problem is coming from. We really think just the good stuff is meant to happen to us, but that’s not true. Bad things can still happen to us too, it’s all part of life’s growing process.
You’ll have to go through both bad and good times so that you can be more fortified and resilient. Just learn to develop a mindset that is brutally prepared for any change that may occur, you’ll be less anxious when it finally comes, trust me.
WHEN THE “BAD” CHANGE HAPPENS
Anytime we hear “change”, our mind just goes off on just the good stuff that could happen, and that’s a good thing too, it really shows our high level of optimism. But how do you now handle it when the “bad” change happens? Of course, you cannot handle it because you’ve no clue that such a thing will happen to you.
WHAT TO DO
This is kinda synonymous with unpreparedness, but having slight differences. To tackle this, train your mind to such an extent that you would be able to take in whatever change that may occur. Make it a deliberate process to always watch and control your reaction towards any change and it’ll help you become more comfortable.
LACK OF SELF-CONFIDENCE
When there seem to be a deficit of self-confidence in you, you tend to fright and freak at the slightest occurrence of the change. Also, when you lack self-confidence, you can’t get a hold of yourself, and this makes you overwhelmed because you normally have control of the things that happen in your life.
WHAT TO DO
I know you think that the obvious solution to this is to build up confidence. Well, that’s true. However, just thinking or saying it won’t put any in you. You actually have to act towards it by volition.
Self-confidence first arises from the mind. So learn to build a confident mindset first, before you can really think of acting it out into your life. Be fiercely confident in your ability when it comes to handling change. And always be positively confident about situations and not the other way round, then you’ll begin to level up, immensely.
WHEN YOU’RE CHRONICALLY INDECISIVE
When you cannot decide on a thing, and this has become a form of habit for you, it’ll definitely affect the way you respond to the change in front of you. A lot of tension may arise in you because you’ve not “decided” to face the change in front of you, which might even be a good one.
WHAT TO DO
Make it a choice now to start living your life out of a definite decision you’ve made for yourself. When you’re in such a dilemma, take your time to decide what step to take and take it afterwards. Don’t waste precious time trying to over-analyze irrelevant details, just do it. You’ll see that by curving away indecisiveness from your life, your response to change will tend to be more subtle and controlled; less tensed and discomforting. Change can really “change” our lives only if we learn to embrace it.